


the end of all things

by besully (Briar_Elwood)



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst, Autistic James, M/M, Post-Series, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 16:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13104066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briar_Elwood/pseuds/besully
Summary: James finally tells Thomas everything that's happened in the last ten years. It doesn't go well.





	the end of all things

**Author's Note:**

> The unreliable narrator tag is super important, okay? Super. Important.
> 
> That's all.

It’s quiet. Too quiet. It’s making James feel itchy.

Thomas is sitting on his bunk, a faint look of shock written in his features, staring blindly into nothing. He’s been like that for a few minutes now, and James’s throat is closing and his stomach is churning. Ever since James stopped speaking, Thomas has been like this--in fact, it started before James stopped talking. Part way through his story, he lost Thomas and now he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get him back.

It’s been about a week since James arrived at the plantation. He’d been avoiding the question of what he’d been up to since last seeing Thomas until tonight. Tonight he finally gave in and told Thomas everything: Maria Aleyne, Charlestown, Captain Flint, the war… everything. He’d hoped Thomas would smile and say it didn’t matter, he loved James, but… well. That didn’t seem to be happening.

“Thomas.”

Thomas blinks and meets James’s eyes briefly before looking away again. James’s stomach lurches.

“Please say something.”

“Wh--what do you want me to say?” Thomas says with a brief shake of his head. “You murdered my father and Peter Ashe.  _ Murdered _ them.”

“Your father was--” James struggles for the right words. “Your father was a bull-headed son of a bitch with his head so far up his own ass he could see daylight. And Peter… he didn’t pull the trigger, but he murdered Miranda, Thomas.”

“I’m not saying either of them deserved any better, James,” Thomas says. “I’m just saying you-- _ you _ went out of your way to kill them.”

James deflates. “I did.”

“How am I supposed to reconcile that with the man that I knew ten years ago?”

“You were dead.”

“And you thought the best way to honor my memory was by killing people?” Thomas says incredulously.

James stays silent, tasting bile at the back of his throat. And Silver had thought reuniting them would resolve things.

It’s quiet again. This time, though, James is the one avoiding Thomas’s gaze. He can feel Thomas’s eyes on him, condemning and final.

“Do you want me to leave?” James asks quietly, head still bowed. There’s a sharp breath from Thomas, and James almost looks up, hopeful, but decides against it.

“Where would you go?”

“It doesn’t matter. Inland. Far away.”

“James…”

Now James does look up. There’s something in Thomas’s voice, and the same holds in his expression.

“I will always love Lieutenant James McGraw,” Thomas says. “Always.”

There’s bile at the back of James’s throat again, and he blinks rapidly, refusing to let tears betray him.

“But Captain James Flint…” Thomas continues, and James has to look away. He understands. He does. Even though he may not be the great Captain Flint anymore, he is still the man who did those things. Those monstrous things. And Thomas could never love a monster.

“James, look at me.”

James stands suddenly, the chair he’s been sitting in toppling over with a crash. There’s a sleepy grumble from one of the other men fast asleep in the room. James can’t look at Thomas. He’s not sure he could even see Thomas if he tried.

“James.”

James can’t respond. Blindly he stumbles for the door and rushes out, slamming the door shut behind him.

“James, wait!”

But James can’t stay. He can’t see the look of disappointment and betrayal in Thomas’s eyes. He can’t sit around and wait for Thomas’s forgiveness. It’s done.

James slips out the plantation easily and finds a nearby tavern.

He never looks back.


End file.
